15 weeks and Counting it all Joy

The inspiration for this post comes from James Chapter 1. I am sure a lot of you have at most of the first chapter memorized. I have meditated and clung to this verse in times past, times of trials and temptations. And to be honest, it is not the subject I would've ever thought I'd need to be meditating on during pregnancy.

Pregnancy is definitely one of the biggest blessings I have ever experienced. So don't get me wrong, I am blessed beyond belief and thankful for each day with our little Baby B. But, who ever said that blessings couldn't be hard, or difficult, or require great endurance, faith and trust in the  Lord? At least to me, at first glance, that seems kind of like a paradox. In my head, times of blessing are mostly associated with the "sun shining down on me" seasons of life (like the verse in Blessed be the Name of the Lord). But I am learning that is not always the case...

I am a few weeks into my 2nd trimester now. I am glad to report that morning sickness has gotten a lot better. I've had a few bouts of intense nausea lately, but nothing like I experienced in my 1st trimester. The recent struggle has been the onset of lingering headaches/migraines. And just to explain, I use those words almost interchangeably. So not to confuse, if I refer to a headache it is a migraine. Normal "headaches" hardly even put a dent in my day or hit my radar.

Anyway, so as most of you probably know, I have suffered from migraines since the later part of college. I've had an MRI, allergy tests, multiple doctor consults, and right before I got pregnant was on a new dietary plan to help. For the most part, the migraines died down a lot in my 1st trimester. But now for the past week I have had a very unwelcome, almost constant companion. And if you are a fellow migraine sufferer, you probably have experienced the dark cloud that a lingering one can bring... the feeling of being trapped, having no way out, no relief,  insomnia at times, the feeling of wanting to bang your head on the wall, or actually banging your head of the wall just desperate for the pain to ease, even if it is only for a few seconds. That is the place I have been for over a week now...

So here I am,... Waiting. Praying. Hoping. Enduring. and as I found out today this is not something I can do. I am only going to be able to endure with the Lord's strength.

I am learning that trials and blessings can accompany each other. And I am determined not to let this temporary trial completely steal my joy of this wonderful blessing. As James wrote :

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds"


This is what I want, but it will only be by the Grace of God...